My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
