Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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