in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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