I bet he comes in French.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
