ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
