I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
