That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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