this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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