She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
