Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
