u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
