She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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