Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
