and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
