Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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