its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
