She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
