Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
