If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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