One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
