She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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