Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
