I want to walk on stilts...naked
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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