that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
