thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it because I queefed?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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