My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just want nice things and good sex
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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