Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
