I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
