I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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