ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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