bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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