Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
