Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize