You can't special order awesome
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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