I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
