bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize