she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
