i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
