Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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