I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
