Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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