I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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