I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
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