i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I forget how to act sober
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