That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
