It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your cock deserves a montage
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
