i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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