I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
