U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's shark week go big or go home
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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