At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
