im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
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I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
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You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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