people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
