he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
