apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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