paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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