found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
