I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
