turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Vodka?
Forever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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