Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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