there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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