no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
