you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
