U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
