so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
