Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it was like eating out sand paper
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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