I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
